I was going to continue this little group project, but I'd like some more time to brainstorm and to allow for more people to contribute. Maybe I'll make it a Monday thing. Come one people, you can do this!
If you ever had to question if McPuke's food rotted you brain with the same brutal efficiency that it did your bowels, this shit should put that question to bed.
Latreasa Goodman, 27 from Florida called 911 (AN EMERGENCY SERVICE IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW) three fraking times because her local McDonald's did not have Chicken McNuggets, and could not get her money back. She was offered something else from the menu, but she was steadfast in her steely resolve to die a slow chicken-byproduct-fueled death.
I'd like to focus on one specific point. She called 911 THREE (3) times. Even REAL emergencies don't abuse the system to that extent.
HERE'S THE FIRST CALL.
HERE'S THE SECOND CALL.
AND, OH YES, THE THIRD CALL!
This "women" REALLY wants those nuggets eh?
Now, I'm a happy-go-lucky sorta guy. I let a lot slide in my day as such a skill is critical to the integrity of my sanity, but for the life of me I can't decide whether to laugh or cry or rage concerning this. I want to ask if people are REALLY this flatscan, but I know the answer, and it fills me with a despair that could swallow civilizations.
This is why I'm happy The Darwin Awards exists.
BAH! I need to laugh!