Monday, November 24, 2008

Did I step on a butterfly or something?

My karma's been in the dumps for the past few days.

My friend's dad dropped dead Friday night, and there's a lot of unresolved issues with that relationship. I don't even know the specifics, but the family isn't exactly capable of supporting itself and once the shock subsides there's going to be hell to pay, literally and figuratively. Please take a second to send a good wave their way.

it makes me think a lot about my grandmother's death a few years ago. She was taken from us by pancreatic cancer and it was very painful for everyone. Now things are very strained between my grandfather and the rest of the family. He's always angry and pushes everyone away, even when he's seemingly asking for attention. Apparently he was always this way but my grandmother held him in check. Now she's gone and nobody knows what to do. I guess after 51 years of marriage he has a right to be angry, but it's not healthy for him to be at the grave almost every day for 3 years, and nobody wants to do anything to stop him.

On my way in to work this morning I hear on the radio that my old high school nearly burned down. and once I start my shift I find out that my staff (of which I'm allotted no control but responsible for and paid the same as they are) royally fucked up on the weekend. We're talking PROPERTY DAMAGE due to security's negligence. I'm a security guard/concierge at a downtown condo in Toronto, and I'm about to pull my hair out over $10/hour.

I've gotta counter these bad vibes. Gaming might work but not looking for any death and destruction at my own hands. Presense IV finishes tonight at 7ish, which officially finishes my Learning skill training. My next bit of business is to get my Minmatar Industrial up to III so I can use a Mammoth to move myself to Abudban. Then it's all about mission running got isk and standings while fixing up my skills in every other category.

Maybe a movie would be better. I'm sure I have something uplifting somewhere.

It's a bad thing to start a week this depressed, so if I don't act on it now I'll ruin everything up to Friday, and maybe beyond.

Tomorrow is the next chapter of Last Son of Prano. I'm running into a bit of writing block on the final chapter, but I've really got to jump on it and work through it.

Maybe I need a good wave sent my way as well. It's important for me to be happy for my wife's sake. She's easily depressed and I can't let her get down on our situations. I have to bare it. She was not able to work on the blog's look last week because her job at the bakery was finally giving her some decent hours, which is a good thing. The blog will change when she has the time.

26th brings us to the next Blog Banter, brought to us by CrazyKinux. I'll be giving my thoughts on the king of the EVE blogosphere this week. The Banter blog entry will be out in the evening, so no entry in the morning like usual for that day.



Mynxee said...

I have a rubber stamp with the quote: "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere."

Stop fretting about the things in your wider world over which you have no control. It is a waste of emotional energy guaranteed to set up a negative feedback loop that you are better off without. Focus on managing the things that ARE within your control and consider that a job well done.

*Mynxee steps down off the "Mom" soapbox and sends a hug.

PsycheDiver said...

Thanks Mynxee. I think I needed to hear something like that. The hug is much appreciated as well.

Maybe I shouldn't change my habits at all. A little Horde may fix my mood.

YoMma said...

Sorry to hear things aren't going 100% for you at the moment matey. I agree with Mynxee in so far as you can't allow stuff you have no control over to get at you.

Just like to say you run a great blog here and it always maintains my attention and I look forward to your entry in the Blog Banter.

Take care buddy and hope the next few days send a nice well deserved improvement your way.

PsycheDiver said...

Thanks YoMma. It's good to know I'm doing right by my readers.